What is...

Walking to the pool this afternoon for my lunch break swim, I was happy. Content to be just walking, one foot in front of the other. Happy to be out in the Greek sun. I was in tune with everything around me...smells, sights, sounds. I was enjoying each second for what it gave me and not thinking about the seconds ahead nor the time that has passed behind me.

I got to the pool and swam for about 45 min. Light easy pace, concentration on my form and glide and watching the shiny reflection of the water ripples dance along the bottom of the pool. There was a beautiful little bird, black with blue striped wings, that joined me in my lane and dove down playfully to splash in the water. He was reminding me to have fun and be playful...enjoy the water.

Most of the time our brains are filled with stuff and 70% of that stuff will never happen. They are just thoughts and worries of "what if". I often stress about things that I need to do and I rush with trying to do a million things, to accomplish stuff and to check this stuff off my list.

Today's walk was a reminder that this universe holds my fate. I can work to make things good. I can work hard. I can make decisions and hope they are the right ones for my future but I ultimately have no control over this powerful universal force called life. I can either go with the flow or fight it. I can either enjoy each moment that life gives me or look too far ahead (or too far behind) and miss the moment. I can dwell on the "what if's" and miss out on "what is". Today I was able to live a bit "in" the moment...what is...

Happiness is giving.

Why does everything have to have this overwhelming wave of emotions? I can go from one minute to the next and reach the full spectrum of feelings.

This morning I watched a youtube clip of "Empire state of mind" and immediately I wished that I was back in NYC...homesickness once again. A few hours before that I woke up to the most beautiful sunshine in Athens and opened the sliding glass door of my bedroom to overlook Ymmitos mountain. And even now, working from home in board shorts and flip flops, I can take a sunny outside lunch break and give some kisses to my pup pup (who comes to work with me every day). I have it kinda good!

This weekend was a full of giving back to the sport of love. I have decided to help volunteer and dedicate more than 1/2 of my time to two triathlon organizations, sacrificing both time and money for experience. I love being involved and giving back but there is a price to pay.

My price this weekend was my training. I am training for the biggest race of my life, thus far, which is only a month away - Ironman 70.3 St. Polten. YIKES! My weekend training was effected in a major way b.c I just ran out of time and steam. Saturday after an entire day of helping at the clinic and pouring my emotions into helping some newcomers have a good experience with the sport, I cut my run down from 22k to 15k and due to fatigue, re-injured my toe. On Sunday, after volunteering at the mountain trail running race, I could not keep my eyes open during the car ride home. Instead of doing my BIG brick session, I took a nap. Then, it was all I could do to jump on the trainer for a messily one hour bike, while counting the seconds until I was done the session. This not helping my athletic performance.

And on happiness, a friend of mine wrote on her FB status that she is looking for what really makes her happy, and that it is harder than you think. I replied saying that happiness comes from within and it is love. It can not be found in a situation, person or place. Happiness comes in waves...we just have to ride the wave. But it is harder than you think.

So with my heart and soul, I will keep giving and I will keep loving. I will have faith that with all of this, I will reap the fruits of my labor for when my time comes to be back in my USA.

NY...concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there is nothing you can't do...

Don't let life let you down

Trying to ride high but life is getting in the way. So much to do and so little time. We live in a world with information overload and all these are distractions to me. I feel that I just can't organize to chip away at the important things...filter out the distractions and focus my energy on the things that will actually get me somewhere.

There is too much thinking and not enough doing. But I am doing. It is not like I am sitting all day long watching TV. But then, why am I so tired at the end of the day and why do I feel that what I have done is just not enough?

With every problem there is a solution. What is mine? I will start with the simple tasks and list technique. I will start to mimic those that are accomplishing great things. I will surround myself with like minded people.

After all, it is not that bad. I do have goals. I do have a path. It might not always be the day that I expect but I am doing something. With God on my side in just a few months I will hold the title of IRON-wo-MAN. This is one great accomplishment!

The sun will always set and there will always be a new day.

I love sunsets, more so than sunrise. Maybe because sunsets represent a day well lived where we have tried our best in this world to do what is right, to follow our life mission and to be thankful that God had kept us safe to see another day.

Yesterday I had a bad day. Nothing really happened to make me that way but I was just depressed and down on life. So I cried, I prayed and I tried to put one foot in front of the other to get something done. I didn't do all that was on my "list". It was a day off training so my husband and I gave some time to the puppy and took her to the dog park to play. And this decision allowed me to see a beautiful sunset and to take a moment to reflect just how wonderful my life really is. I have my health, a wonderful husband and stepson, a great puppy dog, a brother and mother that love me unconditionally, a roof over my head, food on the table and much much more. I might not ever be exactly where I think I should be as an athlete, as a wife, as a mother, in my career but I am moving forward to where I need to be spiritually and I have so much to be thankful for. I am not hungry, cold, sick, alone.

I realize that it is ok to have bad days, to scream and fight life, to be disappointed in yourself, to be disappointed in others and not always ride high. But I have also realized that when you fall down, just get right back up and brush the dirt off your shoulders. Others are counting on us. Don't look back but look forward because the sun will set and it will rise again with endless possibilities, great achievements and many many more of God's gifts (and his sunsets).

We only get what we give!

Wake up kids
We've got the dreamers disease
Age fourteen
They got you down on your knees
So polite
We're busy still saying please
Frienemies
Who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night
We smash their mercedes benz
First we run
And then we laugh 'till we cry
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
you feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget we only get what we give
[I'm comin' home baby]
[You're tops, give it to me now]
Four a.m. we ran a miracle mile
We're flat broke
But hey we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find a friend
You feel your tree is breaking
Just bend
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget
We only get what we give
This whole damn world can fall apart
You'll be ok follow your heart
You're in harms way I'm right behind
Now say you're mine
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget
We only get what we give
Don't let go
I feel the music in you
Fly high
What's real can't die
We only get what we give
You're gonna get what you give
Just dont be afraid to live
Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
courtney love and marilyn manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in

song by New Radicals - You get what you give

a little bit of this...a little bit of that...

I have either the blessing or curse to have two homes. One in Greece and one in the USA. This makes life more complex than one would think. For the last 5 or so years, I have been pulled between the two and this has caused a great unrest for my soul. Just when I start to settle, I change again. This time three weeks ago (and just when things were riding high) I had to leave Greece due the death of my aunt.

I have a small family. It was just the four of us growing up: Dad, Mom, Michael, and me. My father passed away in 2001, an event that would be one of the most difficult to deal with even as I write this over 8 years later. I am still dealing with it especially during those times that I look for his advice and his blessings. So when my aunt passed away three weeks ago, I had to be there not only to help with the arrangements (we are her only family) but for emotional support. This was my fathers sister and the last direct living relative that we had. She was also my Godmother.

Even though it is hard, I always look at death as a celebration of life! Death is only hard for us remaining here on earth. This hit me when we had to organize and donate my aunts last possessions. We are on this planet for a short time and all the worldly possessions will not go with us therefore life is how we live and not what we have. It is just our soul that leaves this world. So, it is our soul that we must perfect (and no amount of money or worldly possessions will help with this journey).

So, as I try to get back on track and keep my focus on work, triathlon, and family, I am even more driven. My goals are aligned to what will best serve my soul. I am ready to push my mind, body and spirit farther than I thought possible. Training: bring it on! Life: bring it on! I am ready for the test of life because with out being tested, we can not realize how great we really are.

"...but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need"

The Rolling Stones had it right. "You can't always get what you want." But, put yourself out there, follow your heart, work hard, and you will find that things will fall into place and you will get all that you need (and then some).

It is hard to filter life's clutter and grab the important things. My biggest challange is to organize, focus and manage my time all while working toward my goals. I have to make these goals visible and put them in front of me everyday or I will get sidelined. I am my own worst enemy and I am working on that. Sometimes, just "being" is all that is necessary. I don't have to move mountains every day.

This Ironman 70.3 training plan and my nutrition plan is a good way to get started. This weekend was dedicated to training, both Saturday and Sunday. All day at Schinias swimming, biking and running. It felt good to be out there. To be in God's country away from the concrete jungle. My spirit was humbled, by body was working, my mind was at peace. OK, so what if the house is a mess, the office is not as organized as I would like, and each evening when I get home I have to cook and plan our next heathly meal instead of sitting down to read or relax. I do struggle with all the "other things" I want to do and need to catch up on: being a wife and stepmom, seeing friends, reading, pampering, playing with puppy, organzing my photos and itunes, learning more about tri, discovering new recipes, cleaning house, and the list goes on and on. But if I get caught up in all this "stuff" then what am I really acomplishing at the end of the day, a clean house that will just get dirty again?

I am fortunate to have my husband on this journey with me (we are both competing in Austria). He is my inspiration and pulls me up when I am falling down. My stepson is 15 and has his own agenda so our comitment to the sport does not bother him. He loves that his dad is happy now and has found a new life with sport. He is happy that we are happy and healthy. It makes him feel proud that his dad and stepmom are doing something that many people in Greece only dream to do. And he is always a part of it. We even bring our puppy Tami with us on the weekends. She has her time to run and play on the beach before and after practice and she has her nap time in the car when we are training.

Balance is everything. Time management to keep the balance between work, goals and life. I want to be successful at everything but that is just not possible. So, I will keep focused on my goals and balance my life to make sure that I can tend to everything.

And looking back two years ago, if I actually got what I wanted I would not be where I am today. Today is where God's wants me to be...it is my destiny. I am in Greece for a reason and this journey is just what I need.