Synchronicity

I really didn't know much about synchronicity until about 2 months ago.

I was directed to a podcast, Inspire Nation, in which Robert Moss, a world renown expert in the field of dreaming, was interviewed.  He brought light on the signs of sounds and symbols,  the everyday coincidences that I have been experiencing ever since I had a "spiritual awakening" earlier in 2015.

He said that if you are open recognize signs on Earth through nature and other coincidences, then you can gain knowledge about your path here on Earth.  Looking for the "signs" will help guide you.

I had always been in tune to coincidence in my life. But it wasn't until I heard the message of synchronicity from Robert Moss that I understood that some of the most important messages in life are when your overall life plan becomes unstuck or derails off track.  There is magic around every corner and it is often time during the derailment in life that you begin to find a deeper meaning.  It is that person you meet after missing your flight connection, the road closure that brings you down a new road with a message, the chalk drawing on the sidewalk or the way the wind blows on your morning run.  It is easy to not see these "sign" if our minds are cluttered and not in the moment.  But the universe is speaking to all of us through everyday interactions.

Since I had experienced a spiritual shift, these signs became amplified.  I didn't realize that I was at a very important transit in life.  Synchronicity is most powerful when we are off track from our norm; nearing birth or death, falling in or out of love or other important transitions in life, such as a spiritual awaking or epiphany, such as I had experienced.

I was living in Athens, Greece for three months at the end of 2015.  Days after listening to this podcast, two hare's (bunnys) appeared in our small city garden outside of our apartment building in the city.  I had never, in over 10 years of living in this city, seen a hare in Athens, let alone living in our yard.  Neighbors and strangers would come and ask us if they were our pets, in awe that these animals were just wild in our small city garden.   I started to pay attention.  Every time I would see these hare's when I was not alone, they would just run from me.  But during those special moments that I was alone, they would never run.  They would stay and let me approach them, as if they had a message for me.  Once I was eye to eye with one of them.  We connected eyes and I asked this little animal "what is your message, what are you trying to tell me?".

Shortly after this, I had a flood of "signs".  If I had something on my mind or was subconciencly seeking an answer, with in hours, there was a message that was just too much of a conscience to ignore.  The answer would come in all forms - a eagle flying overhead, a stranger with a smile, a phone call I decided to pick up that would lead me down a new path or a message written in the most obscure place.  I started to really pay attention.

What I have started to learn is that these signs can mean different things to different people.  It is living life and learning how life unfold after a synchronicity, that you learn to read how to handle your "signs".  It takes testing and verifying these "signs" to learn how to let them guide you down your path.  We see these signs and then notice what follows next.  Perhaps we need to stay where we are, be more persistent or perhaps stop and change directions.

Some of the most powerful messages are clear confirmations.  Quite often, these "custom made signs" would be overpowering and direct during the most perfect moment.  The message, or synchronicity, was so clear at the moment that it was confirmation that this message was catered to me.  And often times, the message would come when I would ask for guidance from my angles or soul guides.

After some powerful soul experiences in 2015 I am a believer of these universal powers and synchronicity working in my everyday life.  As I move into 2016 I am working to continue to keep my mind and soul clear to accept these "signs".  I try to live everyday as a story of what the world wants me to see.  I have decided to be conscience of the first three things that I notice beyond myself every day.  Notice them, interneralize them and let them guide me.  It is the life lessons that my soul must learn on this journey and not the destination that I seek.  

As C.P. Cavafy writes in his poem Ithaka -  

"Keep Ithaka always in your mind. 

Arriving there is what you’re destined for. 

But don’t hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you’re old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way, 
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich."

Faith comes full circle

My decision to start blogging today, on Mother's Day, means so much to me.  I always find that these coincidences are always signs from God.  My faith carried me through my journey to have a child.  A journey that changed my life for ever!  And now on Mother's Day, I really feel the power of my Heavenly Father.  I see my children and now I know that Mother's Day is not about my toddlers.  It is about them and how much I love them and cherish them.  It is about Angelo and how happy I am that he is in my life.  It is about doing something nice for them.  It is about how they are teaching me about love.  It is about loving them!

Even if my fertility journey did not turn out 100%  as I had planned, I know that this was my plan and I had to feel and experience this to be where I am today.

For all of you that have touched my life, and especially my mother, Happy Mother's Day.
Mom. I love you!

2011 and Pregnant!

After a whirlwind of events these past months I am heading into 2011 with even more grace, joy, appreciation and faith.

2010 was a MY year. I knew it from the very start. I knew that I had some power over my hopes and dreams while other hopes and dreams were in the hands of God. My willpower, hard work and perseverance allowed for a very successful year both professionally and athletically. I podiumed at various local triathlon races, ran a half marathon in good time and competed in my first ever Ironman 70.3. I also had the pleasure to help with the organization/media and press of the local triathlon org. and we had some very successful articles and contacts come out of my efforts. I also loved my volunteer experience at Greece's first ever half Iron distance triathlon race. I was in the best shape I have ever been in (or at least been since my Lacrosse days at PSU) and I had the peace I needed in my life to know that God has me in his hands and that I will walk in faith and not fear.

And then, as I knew subconsciously would happen in this glorious year, I got word that I was pregnant in early October. We had been waiting for this news for over 3 years. Then about two weeks later we found out we were having TWINS! The events and coincidence leading up the the good news was like clock work. It was like our entire "personal" universe was aligned and the spirit of the baby (or babies) declared that it was finally time to come into our lives. I was very careful during my first trimester and didn't tell many people but as I now confidently write we are in full celebration mode, baby bump and all.

As I move now into 2011 it seems that this year will present its own share of challenges. We already faced some pretty heavy ones at the very start of the New Year with my immediate family back in the USA. There was tension, fear, doubt and sadness but strength in our Lord God prevailed and is carrying us through. His grace and power have already given us the answers we were looking for.

My triathlon training this year is patience and love. I am working everyday to give more than I am getting, to love these babies inside my belly, to love my family and support them, to meditate and reflect, to not worry but to trust in the Lord for my glorious path both right now and in the future. To me, the training of the mind/soul is harder than the training of the body. In 2011 my training of the body will change. I can't run or bike or swim (since carry multiples is considered a higher risk pregnancy) but I keep my focus for the journey of my mind and spirit and learn that the journey of my body does not necessary mean long endurance and strenuous training but a peaceful and accepting nurturing.

Faith

After a few months of writer's block and not feeling about writing much of anything, I got a wave of emotion that came over me yesterday...topic for my blog.

For the last 3 years, my husband and I have been dealing with infertility. The good news is that the doctor's have not found anything that would prevent me from getting pregnant so it is just a matter of patience, waiting, therapy, and a stroke of luck.

In the beginning when we learned of our infertility I was on the emotional wave spectrum. First I was hopeful but little did I realize what this journey would entail. Then after 2 failed IVF's, fear, hopelessness, sadness and depression kicked in. I would read various online forums with other women dealing with infertility and it would scare the shit out of me. Many of these women were obsessed with having their own child and had treatment after treatment spending money and all their savings to just end up in disappointment. I was also becoming obsessed myself and I hated the new me. It seemed that this was our only mission, thought and life purpose.

Then one day, after news of the 2nd failed IVF and mourning the loss of what was for a small "embryo second" my child, I was in deeper depression than I had ever experienced. Sitting at work and numb to the world, I got an email about a tri training camp that would take place in a few weeks. It was all I could do to sign up and attend. I was years out of shape, lacked confidence, had become non-social and had been physically abused with shots, hormones, drugs, blood tests, scans and operations. Little did I know that this tri camp would be the start of a glorious journey of mind, body and spirit. Triathlon along with my test of faith would be my new mission.

A little over a year later after a break from treatment, my therapy continues. But as I write, I look at my wall lined with medals and trophy's. I have completed a Marathon and a Ironman 70.3. I have podium finished in almost every local race I have signed up for. And my faith in God has grown and strengthened due to some very close friendships and bible study gatherings. I was not going to be that obsessive women who would loose my life obsessing over a pregnancy. And in turn, because of life's unfortunate twists, I have athletic achievements that I only could dream were possible.

I don't know if I will ever get pregnant. But I do know that I will be a mother. I still have my bad days and fear and doubt try to creep in but I am standing strong on my faith. Faith is the power you have over the uncertain. It allows you to enjoy the moment, enjoy life! And if we don't live this moment with all we have, then our memories are filled with regret and our future with out hope. And in my case, sometimes not getting what you want when you want it is the greatest gift of all.

What I have learned is that you need lead your life with faith even more so when you are wilting. For as Jesus said "O woman, great is thy faith be it unto thee even as thou wilt" (Matthew 15:28) which I read as your faith is more powerful than you and you must live it, trust it and be it even when you are not your best.

My faith is being tested each and every day but it is also what keeps me living in the moment...enjoying all the wonderful things that make up my life-past, present and future!

My life is not up to me and after reading an article in Yoga Journal that a dear friend sent me, it says "Have you considered that maybe the timing of your conception isn't only up to you? Perhaps there is the spirit of the baby to consider. Who is to say that he or she doesn't have some say in all of this?"

For me as I continue on my journey, I rest knowing that it is in God's hands.


Picture above is by the artist Aung Myint "Mother & Child" - "Moving in a different direction, the series are an exercise in planned spontaneity. A meditative exercise, Myint conceived of the drawings in his head, yet carried them out spontaneously with one continues line. The goal was to move his hand in a relaxed and free manner, to achieve a singular, flowing form. The results are bold, spare and direct. The impact of these stark and iconic images are enhanced by Myint's use of textured, handmade mulberry-bark paper, produced by the Shan minority, who live in the eastern mountains of Myanmar. While very contemporary, these works hark back to the figures and line of classical Myanmar art."

Ithaca

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon — do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Then pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many,
that you will enter ports seen for the first time
with such pleasure, with such joy!
Stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and corals, amber and ebony,
and pleasurable perfumes of all kinds,
buy as many pleasurable perfumes as you can;
visit hosts of Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from those who have knowledge.

Always keep Ithaca fixed in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for long years;
and even to anchor at the isle when you are old,
rich with all that you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have taken the road.
But she has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not defrauded you.
With the great wisdom you have gained, with so much experience,
you must surely have understood by then what Ithacas mean.

-K. P. Kavafis (C. P. Cavafy)

The magic of a 70.3, both as a competitor and a volunteer.

These last few weeks have been full of events, activities, travel and FUN!

Two weeks ago, I competed in my first Ironman 70.3 in St. Polten Austria. And last Sunday, I was able to volunteer for the first 70.3 triathlon distance to EVER be held in Greece - Astroman. Both events were a life changing experience not only physically but mentally and spiritually.

Both my husband and I trained for about 18 weeks in order to line up on the starting line of the Ironman 70.3 in St. Polten. We both did it and we both finished. It was our anniversary weekend - 5 years- so the entire event and victory represented the victory through the ups and downs of our relationship. It was sweet to come up on top!

The Ironman 70.3 St. Polten was my first international race and I made a lot of mistakes but I learned from them. My swim start was at 7:15am. I felt rushed before I got into the water to make my deep water start. I placed myself poorly in the group and this cost me precious minutes from my swim time. I never felt a rhythm during the entire swim. What I did feel the entire swim were women around me, kicking and pushing me off course.

The bike transition was long and it was the first time that I had to transition away from my bike (the few races I have done allowed me to have all my transition gear in one place and laid out in an organized fashion). My stuff was in a big bag. I had too much stuff since we just didn't know if we were going to face rain and cold. Bottom line: I was slow and confused during the transition.

On the bike and out of the transition was when I got that feeling...just an overwhelming feeling of being stoked to be in the race. I smiled and even talked to myself saying how awesome I felt and how great it is to be competing in an Ironman! The ride took us in and out of the Danube wine country, along the river and into little narrow villages and streets lined with Austrians clapping and yelling HOP HOP HOP! The bike went so quick! I paced well (maybe even too slow) and finished in about 3:13min.

We then entered the town of St. Polten again and into transition 2. I was feeling great as I hopped off my bike and ran to the T2 to pick up my run bag. My legs were fresh for the run and my starting pace was fast! I had to really slow myself down on the first 10K loop since I wanted to have energy to race the last 10K. Approaching the second loop, I was full on. My body felt great. I had no fatigue and I was ready to race the last 10K. I turn it on and burned past about 30 women on my way to the finish line. I ran a 2 hr half marathon.

Getting the Ironman medal represented not only the accomplishment of finishing the race but it was proof that I can tackle any challenge that will be thrown at me in this life. The reason I like to race endurance events is because I am able to tap into my soul, my spirit. I have the connection to my true being and a disconnect from my ego.

After Austria, we came back to bankrupt Greece. We missed the open green Austria country side, the hospitable people and the neat and orderly lifestyle. But after getting back to work, I prepared, along with the organizers of HOP! Events, to host the first ever 70.3 distance triathlon to ever be held on Greek soil. I was back and forth in my mind about potentially racing but decided that my role was better served to help manage the volunteer stations on the day of the race.

I never thought that volunteering could be almost as great as racing. This event - Astroman 2010 - was filled with good vibes from the start. The race day was hot (about 39 C with no breeze or relief) and the athletes need well organized and well stocked aide stations. I worked my butt off to make sure that everyone's role was utilized, that we had enough supplies and lets not forget about ice. I must have bought all the ice in the village of Astros. Greeks don't really use ice so finding big bags and unlimited supply was a challenge but we were successful. The athletes came to us after the race with comments like "If it were not for the volunteers, I would have not finished the race" and "On the entire run, the only thing that was keeping me going was your aid station". This experience was magic...to help out another athlete and pick them up when they are down is one of the best feelings! I made the right decision to not race b.c if I had raced, then I would not have been a positive impact that helped so many athletes cross that finish line under extreme conditions.

On this day, in the little beach town of Astros in the Peloponnese I saw hope for Greece. I felt positivity. I saw local spectators sitting outside of their house to cheer and support the athletes. I saw money being spent and shop keepers happy. If only the Greek government could WAKE UP and start supporting positive movements like this one, Greece would see a revolutionary change.

I don't have any short term plans or races booked but I am keeping fit because endurance racing and triathlon is part of my life. My reasons for not racing is that my job now is to have a baby. Then it is back to racing.

I have been on both sides of the starting line - as an organizer and a competitor. The magic is in both places and now my mission is to encourage others to get involved. This is where God is leading me and this is where I am headed.

Lessons learned

This past week completed week 16 of my 18 week Half Ironman program. This week is my last week before my taper. As an athlete, I think most of us always feel that we could have done more, put in more time, trained harder. But it is important to remember that we must also have fun. If it is not fun, then why are we doing this? I have skipped sessions, I have cut sessions short and not done them with the intensity required. But I have also listened to my body, had fun and lived my life.

What I learned in these past 17 or so weeks applies not only to my specific race but also to my life.

• Anything good takes hard work, patience and perseverance.
  
• It takes hours of repetition and not quitting to get it right and even then, it might not be perfect.
  
• It takes a strong will and discipline to start (the practice) that you don't want to do. But walk in the motions and before you know it, you are getting it done.
  
• Live in faith and not fear. Getting on that bike can be a scary thing (especially riding the Greek roads) but have faith that God will carry you through it safely.
  
• It is ok if you get derailed, get down, feel overwhelmed or quit. The important thing is not to give up, wake up to a new day and give it another go.
• Competitive spirit is good but it must be in check and not control you. Enjoy the spirit of competition but love your fellow athletes and wish them greater success.
• Don't train alone...get out there and meet others with the same passion.
• Train with those who are faster and better than you.
  
• Always learn and try new things.
  
• Don't get comfortable.
• Be flexible.
• Don't loose sight of what is most important in your life - your family and loyal friends.
• Give thanks to God for your abilities, power and success. The glory belongs to Him.
  

I have already lived these lessons in some shape or form and have learned but I have a long road ahead. This is one of many experiences that will allow me to keep growing. The race is never over, it has only just begun.